Settlement meeting

Our meeting today went well.

BM’s lawyer was not there, so it was a bit more informal than it might have been.

Her new boyfriend was there to provide some support.

Before the meeting, Braydon had a visit with BM. The visit went well, and he played with them for about an hour. He got a couple of new toys as Christmas presents. The last visit before today was December 20.

Before the meeting, we talked with the adoption worker about what we thought openness would look like. We thought a couple of visits per year, including an Agency hosted Christmas party for adoptive families.

When we were talking with her, we talked about visits in the future.

The adoption worker emphasized several times that BM would have to keep her up to date with her location. She is not a stranger, as she has been involved with her other children.

The Agency hosts a Christmas party for families who have adopted over the years. It is an easy forum to meet once a year. If she does not keep up contact, she will lose out on being invited to the Christmas party and other visits. At this point, no one will be chasing her for visits, as has been the case to date. Up until now, the visits have all been court mandated.

We talked about setting up an e-mail that we would use only for exchanging information and setting up meetings. We agreed to provide pictures and updates. She will write a letter and send pictures as well.

BM didn’t really know what to ask for in the way of openness, because she does not have that with the other children. The circumstance of those situations have been different. Braydon is a very easy going child.

His next older sibling did not have visits for a while, and was upset for a day and a half once visits resumed when she was about 11 months old. The process dragged on and on, and the other family was not as comfortable. We have seen her several times at visits, and have an OK relationship with her. We have provided pictures on a number of occasions, which is something she has not had.

This young lady has arrived at this point in her life through a series of unfortunate circumstances. She has been through the system herself, and was not served well by it. It is truly sad that she has had to give up a child for us to expand our family. She does not mean any harm, and is not dangerous. She does fine caring for herself, but has limited ability to care for a child.

We promised that we would take care of him and give him lots of opportunities. She has seen over the last year that we love him and are taking good care of him.

We still have to wait for court on the 22nd of March. There should be no reason why things won’t go through, but we really don’t know until court is over.

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One Response to “Settlement meeting”

  1. Follow up visit « Our adoption experience Says:

    […] we met with Reid’s birth mother before she waived her rights just after his first birthday, we agreed to meet with her so she could […]

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