Our story — part 3

At the end of the last post, we had just returned home from our nine week trip to Burkina Faso.

We returned home on the last Sunday in March.  We were due to return to work on Wednesday of that week.

Early that week, we received an e-mail from the adoption worker about two babies to consider, one about a month old, and the other due at something like the end of May.  We replied, and said that we were open to both.  She got back to us and said they would be doing interviews early in April.  Later on, we found out the interview would be on the Monday before Good Friday and Easter, which was in mid-April that year.

The interview went well, and they told us they would let us know by Thursday how things went.  We felt relaxed about the interview.  We went through Tuesday, not really thinking much of it.  On Wednesday, I had a work thing in London to go to.  My cell phone rang, and it was one of Sandra’s cousin looking for a guarantor for a passport.  I turned it off and went back into the conference.  At the break, I went out and saw that there was a message.  I called and checked, and the worker had called and left a message.  While she was waiting for me to call, she had called Sandra and let her know that we had been picked.  When I called back, she told me to call Sandra.  We talked and were shocked, stunned, etc.  I went back into the meeting and sat down.  Needless to say, I was sitting there, head spinning, thinking about what was going on.  I figured the best thing was to tell my boss that I was going to head back early, and why.  She was quite glad for me as well, and said to go ahead.

I spent the next hour and half driving back home on autopilot.  I was driving safely, but not really thinking about what was happening.

When I got to Sandra’s work, we talked briefly.  Everyone was quite excited for us, as they were aware of the journey we had been through.

Pretty much right away, we started making arrangements for parental leave.  Fortunately, adoptive parents are allowed to take up to 37 weeks of parental leave, between the parents.   I ended up taking five weeks, and Sandra took the rest.  That allowed me to take July and part of August off.

We had to wait through the long weekend to meet Tate.  We went to meet him on a Wednesday morning, and we had him a few times, before he came for an overnight visit the next week.  He came home on Thursday.  Within a month, we went from coming home from Africa to having a child in our home.  Talk about perfect timing.  If we had done what we did, when we did, things probably would have worked out differently.  God definitely had his hands working in our plans in all that we went through.

Before we became parents, and were in the process of becoming adoptive parents, we had the opportunity to go to Burkina Faso four times, once for nine weeks.  I had the opportunity to go to California for a week, and bring Sandra out for a week before we made our extended trip.

When we started pursuing adoption, we were thinking of a totally closed adoption, with no further contact with the family of origin.  As we went through our journey, we became more comfortable with the concept of an open adoption.  By the time we were presented with the opportunity for Tate, it was presented as foster to adopt, with a strong likelihood that it would be low risk of him returning to his birth mother, based upon the circumstances.

By the time Reid joined our family, we were completely comfortable with foster to adopt.  Reid was apprehended into care in the hospital, and came to our home when he was a day old. For a time, a social worker took him to access visits.  Over time, we would drop him off for visits.  As time went by, the visits switched to a supervised centre.  We did the pick up and drop off, and met with his birth mother.  By the time she waived her parental rights, we met with her and agreed to meetings twice a year, and to exchange pictures and letters on a more frequent basis.  So far, this has worked well.  In fact, after the visit this fall, we dropped his birth mother and boyfriend off at the main transit terminal in our city.

Both of our children have extremely different stories.  So far, I have written mostly about our experience with Reid’s adoption becoming finalized.  In the future, I will write more about Tate’s experience.

There is a limit to what I can tell.  Ultimately, these are their stories to tell.  I am writing about the experience as an adoptive parent.

Tags: , , ,

2 Responses to “Our story — part 3”

  1. Our story — part 2 « Our adoption experience Says:

    […] are about to change.  Stay tuned for the next installment. Share this:ShareLinkedInPinterestFacebookEmailTwitterLike this:LikeOne blogger likes this […]

  2. Our story – introduction « Our adoption experience Says:

    […] all have been posted, click here for part 1, here for part 2, and here for part 3. Share this:ShareLinkedInPinterestFacebookEmailTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: