Archive for the ‘adoption’ Category

Open adoption can be interesting

December 3, 2016

Our annual open adoption Christmas party was on Sunday afternoon. 

We picked up Reid’s birth mother, her husband, and her oldest daughter. Following logic, also his half sister. We last saw her over five years ago. She’s about four months older than Tate, but a school year ahead. We immediately noticed that his birth mother’s hair was dyed blue. 

It’s hosted by our local Children’s Aid to allow adoptive and birth families to connect at a neutral site. Everyone is invited to bring appetizers to share. 

It went pretty well. A fun time was had by all. 

As we were driving to drop them off, Reid asked, “Why is your hair blue?”  I just about busted a gut trying not to laugh.  We told him because It was dyed that colour. That’s good for now.  

On Monday night we were driving home a different way, which was by their apartment. Reid asked.”Who we pick up?”  I told him their names, as that’s who he knows them as. 

We’re not really sure how much of a concept he has about adoption, so we haven’t really told him. We’re not sure exactly what to say, but we will have to be prepared. 

Observations in Adoption Month

November 19, 2016

Adoption is a life changing experience, both for the adoptive parents and adopted child. 

Adoption is romanticized in the media. They don’t necessarily tell the whole story, along with the bumps and warts that are come along with real life. 

They don’t necessarily know about the challenges that can be part of the journey, especially when adopting from foster care.  

To be fully aware of the potential issues, talk to adoptive parents. 

Adopting an older child

October 8, 2016

Here’s a heart warming story about the adoption of an almost 18 year old, just before he aged out of foster care. 

How one loving couple changed an 18 year old foster kid”s life 

What about closed adoptions?

April 4, 2016

Much has changed around adoption in the past 40 or 50 years. 

Back in the old days, adoptions were often closed.  Little was known about the family of origin. 

There is a very broad spectrum between open and closed adoptions. Adoptions foster care system are often closed, usually related to safety issues. 

We have not met our oldest son’s family of origin at all. We have some information, but not much. He is aware he is adopted, and has been since he has been very young. 

We see our younger son’s birth mother a couple of times a year. There are other siblings we know of, but don’t really make contact. He doesn’t really know about the other connection. At some point, it will come up. We won’t hide it, but we won’t force the issue. 

Much less is said about closed adoptions. Here is a link to an interview, What an adoptee wants you to know about closed adoptions, an interview Mike and Krisitin Berry conducted with their daughter, Jaala. For more background information on their family and story, see Confessions of an adoptive parent

In adoption, no two situations are identical. Each relationship evolves over time, either closer or further apart. 

I have heard it said that different isn’t wrong. It’s just different. 

Open Adoption Christmas Party

December 9, 2015

Reid and I attended the annual open adoption Christmas party with his birth mother and her fiance this past weekend.

It was the fifth time we have  attended this event.  We agreed to meet with her a couple of times a year when she consented to his adoption.

We have always been open with the fact that our kids are adopted.  It is a challenge to share what is appropriate, for both the age and developmental stage of the child.  Tate understands, and is comfortable with it.  He has asked some questions, but nothing too difficult. Reid hasn’t really reached that point where we can share much with him.

It is good to maintain contact with the family of origin.  I’m not sure if it will become awkward at some point.  Time will tell.

There are many families that attend year after year, and have a good relationship.  Hopefully that will be our journey as well.

Nine years

April 28, 2015

April 27, 2006.

It was a day that changed our lives forever.

At the same point in time, our four year long quest to become parents had ended, and our journey as parents began at the same time, as our new baby was delivered.

And the adventure continues.

Acronyms and their impact on our lives

April 12, 2015

This year has been a blur.

Part of it is getting older.  I’ve heard older people say that time goes as you get older.  A few years ago, I didn’t really believe.  And I didn’t really care, because I had lots of time left.

I find winter to be a tiring season, as the days are short.  February was miserably cold this year.

We have been extremely busy over the past few weeks, as we have been getting an educational assessment completed.  It took several trips and meetings to complete the testing and discuss the results.

We received a diagnosis, with an acronym, which we did not expect a few months ago.

It is frustrating to have a diagnosis, but it helps explain some things that we had no explanation for.  It also opens the door for some additional assistance and accommodation, which will be helpful.

We will have to work at teaching and developing impulse control and other other skills that most kids have.

We will have to be constantly in prayer and relying on God for wisdom as we parent over the next few years.


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