Archive for the ‘Links’ Category

Open adoption can be interesting

December 3, 2016

Our annual open adoption Christmas party was on Sunday afternoon. 

We picked up Reid’s birth mother, her husband, and her oldest daughter. Following logic, also his half sister. We last saw her over five years ago. She’s about four months older than Tate, but a school year ahead. We immediately noticed that his birth mother’s hair was dyed blue. 

It’s hosted by our local Children’s Aid to allow adoptive and birth families to connect at a neutral site. Everyone is invited to bring appetizers to share. 

It went pretty well. A fun time was had by all. 

As we were driving to drop them off, Reid asked, “Why is your hair blue?”  I just about busted a gut trying not to laugh.  We told him because It was dyed that colour. That’s good for now.  

On Monday night we were driving home a different way, which was by their apartment. Reid asked.”Who we pick up?”  I told him their names, as that’s who he knows them as. 

We’re not really sure how much of a concept he has about adoption, so we haven’t really told him. We’re not sure exactly what to say, but we will have to be prepared. 


Adopting an older child

October 8, 2016

Here’s a heart warming story about the adoption of an almost 18 year old, just before he aged out of foster care. 

How one loving couple changed an 18 year old foster kid”s life 

What about closed adoptions?

April 4, 2016

Much has changed around adoption in the past 40 or 50 years. 

Back in the old days, adoptions were often closed.  Little was known about the family of origin. 

There is a very broad spectrum between open and closed adoptions. Adoptions foster care system are often closed, usually related to safety issues. 

We have not met our oldest son’s family of origin at all. We have some information, but not much. He is aware he is adopted, and has been since he has been very young. 

We see our younger son’s birth mother a couple of times a year. There are other siblings we know of, but don’t really make contact. He doesn’t really know about the other connection. At some point, it will come up. We won’t hide it, but we won’t force the issue. 

Much less is said about closed adoptions. Here is a link to an interview, What an adoptee wants you to know about closed adoptions, an interview Mike and Krisitin Berry conducted with their daughter, Jaala. For more background information on their family and story, see Confessions of an adoptive parent

In adoption, no two situations are identical. Each relationship evolves over time, either closer or further apart. 

I have heard it said that different isn’t wrong. It’s just different. 

Open Adoption Christmas Party

December 9, 2015

Reid and I attended the annual open adoption Christmas party with his birth mother and her fiance this past weekend.

It was the fifth time we have  attended this event.  We agreed to meet with her a couple of times a year when she consented to his adoption.

We have always been open with the fact that our kids are adopted.  It is a challenge to share what is appropriate, for both the age and developmental stage of the child.  Tate understands, and is comfortable with it.  He has asked some questions, but nothing too difficult. Reid hasn’t really reached that point where we can share much with him.

It is good to maintain contact with the family of origin.  I’m not sure if it will become awkward at some point.  Time will tell.

There are many families that attend year after year, and have a good relationship.  Hopefully that will be our journey as well.

Social media and searching for birth parents

March 26, 2014

I saw an interesting story in the news today.  Here is a link to the CNN news story.

Katheryn Deprell put a post on Facebook asking people to help her find her birth mother in early March 2014. Within three weeks, she had found and reunited with her birth mother.  It was a happy reunion. They plan to meet again.

This shows the power of social media in a positive way.

Ten things adoptees want you know

February 26, 2014

Our local Family and Children’s Services posted a link to an article on their Facebook page to an article by Lesli Johnson on the Huffington Post website about ten things adoptees want you to know.

Here’s three link:

Open adoption in the media

January 13, 2014

I have been following for a while. They cover a wide variety of adoption issues.

A post today talked about a TV show, based on the story about a reunion between a birth mom and the son she placed for adoption a number of years earlier.  Here is a link to the review.

The show is on TV Land, so it is likely on available in the US initially.

Adoption story – Stephen Kendrick

December 31, 2013

I was listening to an episode of FamilyLife Today earlier today.

Alex and Stephen Kendrick were providing an update on their activities since the release of their most recent movie, Courageous.

Stephen and his wife recently adopted a little girl from China.

Listen here for more details.

The Kendrick brothers are also discuss future plans, including working with the next generation of Christian filmmakers, and the possibility of a new movie in the future.

Advice for friends of adoptive families

June 15, 2013

I have shared many links to Instant Mama’s blog.

Her family has changed recently.  Her and her husband fostered six children for almost two years, before the were reunited with their mother.

A couple of months after that, they were matched with a group of five biological children, and they became a family

In a post called Supporting and Understanding, she refers to Ashlee’s (another blogger) post about supporting adoptive families.

This provides some insights for older children joining a family through adoption.


Who are the “Real” parents?

May 7, 2013

For those who have adopted, a difficult question can be, “Do you know the real parents?”

This can be a difficult question from well meaning people.

My blogging friend, Instant Mama, just wrote a post about this, “The ‘Real’ Mom”  She discusses some of the reasons for the pain behind this comment.

Check it out.

Other terms are used – biological family, family of origin, and first family.

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