Archive for the ‘Fostering’ Category

Sudden change (or maybe not)

August 24, 2017

We started out on our journey toward adoption about 15 years ago.

Our journey shifted toward fostering when a baby (now our son) became available, but he wasn’t available for adoption yet. We were presented with the option of foster to adopt. Why not, we thought.

Fast forward about 2 years, and we are looking at expanding our family again. We waited to get our home study updated so we could be considered for another child.

At the end of 2009, we received a call about a baby due in a month. This was our second son.

It took a long time to finalize his adoption.

We decided to foster to give back.

We had a few foster kids over the years.

As time passed, we discovered our kids had some challenges. We placed restrictions on the kids we were willing to accept.

As we were going through the annual paperwork, it seemed that wasn’t much point to continuing.

So we are no longer foster parents.

Fostering enriched our lives and have us our family.

That season is over.

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Exhaustion

February 8, 2016

There are some days, even weeks, that feel like they suck the life out of you.

Thus week has had a few of those. Some of the behaviours and defiance are just enough to make me wish I could crawl under a rock.

I was talking to another parent who has adopted a couple of kids with FASD. I commended her for making it. She said the teen years can be tough, especially with hormones and all of the fun that’s on with that.

There has been so much going on that I just feel wrung out.

In the past couple of months , I came across a new to me blog, Confessions of an adoptive parent, blogged by Mike and Kristin Berry.

They have been wiring for a while. They have adopted some kids with special needs, including FASD.

They have just launched a podcast called Honestly Speakimg, which can be found on their website. It can also be found on iTunes.

They also offer a free resource, “The Weary Parent’s Guide to Escaping Exhaustion”, for subscribing to their email.

I have found several posts to be right where I’m living at the moment.

Status changes

October 20, 2014

It has been a busy year.

I haven’t been writing as much this year, as I have other years, for many reasons.

We have had a foster child since September, 2013.

It took about a month for him to adjust to our family, but things have gone pretty well.

Since August, he has been having more visits with his mom.  There have been some overnight visits since September, and they are becoming more frequent and longer.  The case goes back to court in late November, and it appears that he may be returning, likely by Christmas.

We have mixed feelings.  We can see that there are requirements and expectations that are not being met.  It looks like the agency is trying to get to to a point that there may be come concerns, but not at a unacceptable level.  Sounds confusing?  it took a few tries to land here.

So what’s ahead?  Good question.

Reflections on the summer

September 7, 2014

The summer of 2014 was an unusual one, in many respects.

After a long, extremely cold winter, the weather gurus were calling for a hot summer.  They missed the boat.  There was one day that hit 30 degrees Celcius in June.  July and August were cooler and wetter than normal.

The days have slipped away.  And they are becoming shorter.  Last night, it was pretty dark by 8:30.  When it is cloudy, it can be very dark by 8:00.  The same thing has happened in the mornings.  Before long, it will be going to work and coming home in the dark.

It was a short summer, as school went untll almost the end of June, and school started in our area on September 2.

The last few days of August were nice and hot.

For the past several years, we have had passes to a local water park and Canada’s Wonderland.  We didn’t get to either one as much as we have in prior years.  LIfe has been busy this year, for a number of reasons.

We have had a foster child for just over a year, and he has been attending camps, activities, and visits with his family.

Reid has transitioned to kindergarten.  He has a modified day, as he gets picked up about halfway through the day.  He needs his sleep, and that helps him (and us).

Tate has moved into third grade in French immersion.  His teacher is impressed with him and his insights.

Activities will ramp up over the next few weeks.  This weekend has been quiet.  Hockey starts again in a couple of weeks. 

September brings a return to routine, and an opportunity to think about what things we like in our lives, and what behaviours and attitudes maybe should change.  In many ways, it is a more appropriate time for resolutions for change than January is.

It is important to be busy.  However, it is more important not to be too busy.  We need to leave margins, or space around the edges of our lives, so that we have room for things that come up, or go wrong.

Think about it ….. how often does an opportunity come up for something that we have to decline because we are too busy?

Cross cultural experience – at home

June 9, 2014

We have had a foster child, J,  with us since September.

It was a bit bumpy at first, but he settled in after a couple of weeks.

He comes from a Vietnamese background, and attends a Roman Catholic mass in Vietnamese.

We had arranged to take him a couple of weeks ago, but it didn’t work out.

There has been a bit of a shift with access visits over the summer.  The agency will still be supervising two visits per month.  We will be supervising visits at soccer.

We will also be taking him to attend the Vietnamese mass about once per month, as our schedule permits.

Sunday was the first day I took him.

It was definitely a different experience.

We attend an evangelical Protestant church, where the dress is quite relaxed.  I haven’t wore a suit to church in a very long time.

I felt very underdressed, compared to most of the adults there.

It was also a long service, close to two hours, as they were celebrating the ordination of a new deacon.

It was something different to sit through a church service conducted in a different language.

It was also different to attend a mass.

J loved seeing his family.  It was good for everyone to see each other.

After church. we went for supper with J’s mom and grandma.

It is good to see how other Christian denominations conduct their worship service.  It can also be part of fostering.

It was been over eight years since I did that, and we flew to Africa to do that.

The arrival of spring

April 8, 2014

I was ready to write ma!post about how we were finally doing some spring activities last night.

And them there is snow on the ground this morning. It will likely be gone by lunch.

We took the boys out on their bikes over the last couple of nights.

Reid and Tate are both moving up to a bigger bike. Reid has taken over Tate’s old bike. Last year he used a device to keep his feet in place on the pedals. Over the winter, he had developed enough control that he didn’t need the device on his old home. We tried him on the new bike without the device, and he mastered it fairly quickly.

Tate is waiting for his new bike to be fixed up.

We also took J out. He hasn’t been on a bike before. We walked alongside him and helped keep him straight and balanced while he pedaled. By the end of our time last night, he was going on hiss own in the parking lot. It was kind of shaky, but he was getting it.

Before long, we will be riding the trails.

Ten things adoptees want you know

February 26, 2014

Our local Family and Children’s Services posted a link to an article on their Facebook page to an article by Lesli Johnson on the Huffington Post website about ten things adoptees want you to know.

Here’s three link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lesli-johnson/adoption_b_2161590.html

Foster Development

January 10, 2014

I haven’t said much about our current foster placement.

J came to our home shortly after school started in September. He is 11, and has some challenges.

At first, it took a couple of weeks for him to settle in. Since then, things  have improved.

Tate and J get along quite well. At times, there is some friction. Nothing major.

Sometimes Reid can be a bit of an irritant.

The months have gone by gradually with no mmonthapossibls, ajor progress on his case. We found out today that there is a potential agreement that will keep him with us for a few more months, possiblypossible until September. 

Great Wolf Lodge trip

September 27, 2013

We are going to Great Wolf Lodge with a group from our church tonight.

We have invited one of Tate’s friends and his family to come along as well.

Our foster child is coming along as well.

It seems that much of his summer was spent playing video games inside his apartment, with very little outside time, or time away from it.   Video games are fine to a point, but in moderation.  Since he has been with us, he goes out side and plays with our boys quite a bit.

It will be lots of fun at Great Wolf.

We are looking forward to it!!!

A couple of weeks in

September 22, 2013

It’s been a couple of weeks since we received another foster child.

It was a bit of an adjustment, as we all adapted to each other’s routines, likes, and dislikes.

It’s been getting better.

We have been having some cross cultural experiences.  One night,  we had Pho, or Vietnamese soup.  It was an interesting  experience.  Nobody loved it, nobody hated it.

We have no idea how long he will be with us.


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