Archive for the ‘Moving forward!’ Category

Open adoption can be interesting

December 3, 2016

Our annual open adoption Christmas party was on Sunday afternoon. 

We picked up Reid’s birth mother, her husband, and her oldest daughter. Following logic, also his half sister. We last saw her over five years ago. She’s about four months older than Tate, but a school year ahead. We immediately noticed that his birth mother’s hair was dyed blue. 

It’s hosted by our local Children’s Aid to allow adoptive and birth families to connect at a neutral site. Everyone is invited to bring appetizers to share. 

It went pretty well. A fun time was had by all. 

As we were driving to drop them off, Reid asked, “Why is your hair blue?”  I just about busted a gut trying not to laugh.  We told him because It was dyed that colour. That’s good for now.  

On Monday night we were driving home a different way, which was by their apartment. Reid asked.”Who we pick up?”  I told him their names, as that’s who he knows them as. 

We’re not really sure how much of a concept he has about adoption, so we haven’t really told him. We’re not sure exactly what to say, but we will have to be prepared. 

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Our story — part 2

April 23, 2012

Here’s a link back to part 1 of our story.

After telling some of the story of our trips to Burkina Faso, there is a bit of a jump back in time to pick up the adoption story.

Early in 2004, some friends from church suggested that we consider pursuing adoption through our local Children’s Aid Society (CAS), or Family & Children’s Services (F&CS).  Both names are used in Ontario, and have different names across Canada and the US.

After we were in contact with them, we found out that we were able to take the home study we had prepared for the private agency, and have F&CS update it for their needs.  As part of the process, we took classes that explained the foster system, and how it worked.  They also had separate classes for families interested in pursuing adoption, or foster to adopt.  The classes are over about 9 weeks, and are required for anyone wanting to foster or adopt.

It took us about a year to get through the classes, as they are held starting in January, April, and September, around the trips to Africa.

By the end of 2004, we were approved for adoption by the local F&CS.

We met with the worker specializing in infant and toddler adoptions.  We completed a lengthy profile of the risks we would be willing to consider in a child we would adopt.

We were asked to consider a couple of different situations.

In about May of 2005, we had been asked to consider an opportunity for an older child.  I was more open to that possibility than Sandra was.  It took a couple of weeks to find out that we had not been picked.  After not hearing anything, it was a tough time for a while.

In the meantime, we decided that we would like to go to Burkina Faso for a longer period to get more of a sense of how things are and to make more of an impact.  In the meantime, the organization our church partnered with had some leadership changes.  It was a bit of a process, but we were approved by the beginning of November, 2005.

In the meantime, things had been quiet on the adoption front.  We had some contact with the adoption worker, but not much.  We told her that we were planning on going to Burkina Faso, and asked about keeping in touch while we were away.  We were able to access e-mail at internet cafes about once a week.

Around Christmas 2005 and January 2006, we were preparing to get ready to go for a 9 week trip to volunteer at an orphanage in Burkina Faso, in western Africa.

Before we left, I said to the worker, more jokingly than anything, that it would be nice if they had a baby waiting for us when we got back.  She kind of laughed, and I’m sure she wasn’t really what to say.

We went on our trip, and had a good time.

Who would have imagined that we would meet a black redneck from Arkansas in Africa?  Who would have imagined someone who lives in the small obscure place near where my father was born would be Africa?

By the time it was time to come home, it was time.  There was one young lady who was very adept at making sure her own wants were taken care of.  She almost got sent home in February, and would have come home at the same time as us if there was room on the flight out.

We returned home on the last Sunday in March.  We were due to return to work on Wednesday of that week.

Things are about to change.  Stay tuned for the next installment.

Two months

March 27, 2010

Things have been really busy, what with the sleepless nights from feeding two to three times a night, access visits three times a week, and life in general.

On the bright side, Braydon is starting to sleep longer at night. A few times, he has actually for about five hours. Once, he actually slept for about eight hours. We checked to see if he was still alive.

It is also hard to believe he is two months old, as of Wednesday.

Almost 4 weeks

February 19, 2010

It’s hard to believe it has been almost a month since Braydon came to our home.

He is sleeping for longer stretches at a time, up to 4 hours.

We are still dealing with access visits, which is a lot of running.

A week in

January 31, 2010

The baby has been with us for over a week now.

It has been a huge adjustment for us, getting up every two to three hours to feed him. We are getting used to the lack of sleep. He sleeps much of the time when he us not eating.

We still have quite a way to go before things become final.

He’s coming

January 25, 2010

He’s coming at 11:00 this morning. Two days earlier than we expected.

Arrival

January 21, 2010

Depending on the time of day the baby is released from the hospital, he may be dropped off at home, or we may pick him up.

Arrival date

January 20, 2010

Today we found out that the baby will be delivered by c section on Jan 26, and he should be coming home to our place on Jan 27.

After the meeting

January 18, 2010

We met with Vickie and Amanda last Thursday.

We found out some more information about the baby’s situation and what will be involved with the foster situation.

It will be a long road, but should go well.

The next thing will be to get all the paperwork together for several things, including parental leave.

More news

January 7, 2010

Yesterday I spoke with Amanda, our social worker. We are meeting with both social workers next week, on the 14th.

More information will be available at that time.
The birth mom with be scheduled for a c-section. That will give us a firm date when to expect the baby, rather than having to sit on pins and needles. In the past, she has delivered this way.

We will be fostering to adopt.

Part of this will include coordinating visits with the birth mom, as long as she wants, or the baby becomes a crown ward.

More information to come as it becomes available.


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