Your child doesn’t look like they have FASD ….

May 24, 2016

So far, we haven’t run into any major problems with people in the school system having an issue getting FASD and the accommodations needed that are spelled out in the IEP. Until recently. But that’s another story …..

Here’s a link to a post on by Mike Berry,  Your child doesn’t look like they have FASD. This post summarizes many things we have experienced, or will likely experience in the future.

The issue of invisible disabilities goes far beyond FASD, or the autism spectrum, or many other acronyms.



Ten years 

April 27, 2016

This is a special day for us. 

Ten years ago, our baby was delivered. By a social worker. To our front door..

That little boy has become a bright, creative, energetic young man.


April 18, 2016

I was just looking total views, and it is closing in on 5,000. 

Not all days are as horrible as it seems

April 12, 2016

There are some days it feels like everyone is link get up to take one more kick, punch, stab, or whatever else. These days are just draining. 

I took the boys to buy a birthday card. Tate wrote his name, as usual. Then Reid wrote his name. I was surpriseded. There have been a few significant things happening recently. Progress happens step by step. 

I happened to hear a song on the radio recently that spok to me in the midst of challfesges. It was I will trust in You – Lauren Daigle

No matter what’s going on, we have tip trust in God to work things out. 

What about closed adoptions?

April 4, 2016

Much has changed around adoption in the past 40 or 50 years. 

Back in the old days, adoptions were often closed.  Little was known about the family of origin. 

There is a very broad spectrum between open and closed adoptions. Adoptions foster care system are often closed, usually related to safety issues. 

We have not met our oldest son’s family of origin at all. We have some information, but not much. He is aware he is adopted, and has been since he has been very young. 

We see our younger son’s birth mother a couple of times a year. There are other siblings we know of, but don’t really make contact. He doesn’t really know about the other connection. At some point, it will come up. We won’t hide it, but we won’t force the issue. 

Much less is said about closed adoptions. Here is a link to an interview, What an adoptee wants you to know about closed adoptions, an interview Mike and Krisitin Berry conducted with their daughter, Jaala. For more background information on their family and story, see Confessions of an adoptive parent

In adoption, no two situations are identical. Each relationship evolves over time, either closer or further apart. 

I have heard it said that different isn’t wrong. It’s just different. 

The long view on fostering

March 24, 2016

TIn the past few months, I have discovered a blog and website,, with content written by Mike and Kristen Berry. 

Mike and Kristen have adopted eight kids, some with FASD. I have found the posts to contain a great deal of useful information. They offer advice from the perspective of those who have dealt with the screaming, yelling, stomping, chucking stuff around, fit that leaves the parent wanting to crawl into a hole. 

In addition to their written content, they also have a podcast that shares useful information. 

In their podcast episode released on March 23, Season 2, Episode 18 Interview with Tricia Collins, Mike interviews Tricia Collins, a former foster child.  

Many foster parents wonder if what they are doing makes a difference. 

Tricia shared it took a while, but it did make a difference. 

Check out th website and podcast. It can also be found on iTunes. Podcast link in iTunes

Special needs parenting – IEP

March 18, 2016

For the uninitiated, this is an individual education plan. 

This document is an important step in achieving success for children with challenges.  

It can take a fair bit of work to accomplish, but it is a big step in starting to access resources. 

Here is a link to a post from Love that Max, written by Ellen Seidman. 

It’s just one more part of the journey. 

How can you tell if it the FASD or just normal kid stuff?

February 22, 2016

We’ve been having a few ongoing challenges with defiance and impulse control.

To be frankly honest, it is exhausting.

When an expectation is plainly outlined, and completely disregarded, it is not good.

It is one thing dealing with defiance in a younger child. As they get closer to adulthood, not following the rules results in much more serious consequences.

We have only been working with a formal diagnosis for about a year. Having a diagnosis opens the door, but it is still a daunting task figuring how to access the supports needed and available.

Community resources are an important support.

Double digits 

February 19, 2016


It seems so hard to believe we have one who will be 10 soon. Where does the time go?


February 8, 2016

There are some days, even weeks, that feel like they suck the life out of you.

Thus week has had a few of those. Some of the behaviours and defiance are just enough to make me wish I could crawl under a rock.

I was talking to another parent who has adopted a couple of kids with FASD. I commended her for making it. She said the teen years can be tough, especially with hormones and all of the fun that’s on with that.

There has been so much going on that I just feel wrung out.

In the past couple of months , I came across a new to me blog, Confessions of an adoptive parent, blogged by Mike and Kristin Berry.

They have been wiring for a while. They have adopted some kids with special needs, including FASD.

They have just launched a podcast called Honestly Speakimg, which can be found on their website. It can also be found on iTunes.

They also offer a free resource, “The Weary Parent’s Guide to Escaping Exhaustion”, for subscribing to their email.

I have found several posts to be right where I’m living at the moment.

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